Born 2 Clown

January 7th, 2010

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I was able to travel during the holidays this year and decided to take a trip up and down the West Coast. After ringing in the New Year in Seattle, it was time to hop in the car on New Year’s Day and make the 12 hour drive from the Emerald City to Oakland. That drive on New Year’s Day sparked something in me, while relatively simple; I will keep in mind as I start the New Year.


With a little over 2 hours of our drive left we hit what may well be the worst fog I have ever seen in my life. Visibility couldn’t have been more than 20-25 feet. It hit us like a California (keeping it local) king sized sheet over the windshield and it hit fast. All of the cars on the road hit their brakes quickly immediately. There was no order for the first few miles. No cars were comfortable with the conditions and what they were even less comfortable with was being in front to stare down the darkness and unknown. One guy, in an obnoxiously large Chevy Silverado, seemed to want in on the action of taking the lead. Fitting, right? He ripped up to the front, saw how bad the conditions were and quickly slammed on his brakes. He then cut off the number two driver and proceeded to ride the bumper of the person in the lead. While I don’t know how Howie Long feels about everything, I’m pretty sure he would have been ashamed of this particular Chevy driver and would lean into his window for a stern talking to.

After a few miles of general confusion and extremely/borderline overly cautious driving (less than 20 mph), a new fearless leader jutted out around the chain to make his way to the front of the line. I could tell that it was a pick-up truck in my rear view, so I couldn’t help but be reminded of the last dud. This pick-up was different though; it was small, old, and beat up. As it passed by, I also noticed that it had an extremely large decal on its back window that read, “BORN 2 CLOWN.” BORN 2 CLOWN settled in to the front of the line and then began encouraging the string of cars to move a little faster. Before long, the group of cars became more comfortable and got up to 35 mph. While it was a bit bothersome at first to be following someone with a BORN 2 CLOWN decal on the back of his truck, I came to terms with it quickly and just tried to ignore the fact that he could either be:

1. A Faygo Cola drinking underling of the Detroit-based cult rap group from the mid-late nineties—the Insane Clown Posse (see image below)

2. A man on a mission to pull the ultimate “CLOWN” of them all; leading the entire string of cars off of a cliff.

Regardless of the sticker, this guy was downright Presidential when it came to leading an uncomfortable and frightened group of drivers in murky conditions. When our fearless leader hit his brakes, so did we. When he accelerated, you better believe we hit the gas too.

Fifteen steady miles went by while behind our captain before someone decided to share in the heavy lifting. What happened next was something that was similar to a snake run; where different people from the line of cars would pull to the front of the line to share in the lead driving. A bold individual had set a precedent and the rest of us followed suit. Every 5 miles or so, one of us would take a turn in the front. Our caravan was a team, cooperating towards a greater goal: to make it through safely and if we’re lucky, maybe at a faster rate. Driving experts may advise against such methods, but darn it, it worked for us!

During this 40-mile trek through the fog on New Year’s Day, I couldn’t help but feel uplifted. In a world where people don’t scoot over to make room for others to sit down on the bus, road hogs cause hours of traffic jams by speeding through the lane that will be closing in 1 mile; ½; ¼; 500 feet, and pick-up basketball games that consist of 10 ball hogs that are only interested in jacking up three’s and dribbling the ball off of their feet, we were able to find a beacon of hope in the foggiest of times. That beacon led our cluster of cars in harmony.

So thank you, BORN 2 CLOWN. I can’t vouch for your abilities to make people laugh, but I can certainly say that your actions and the teamwork that it sparked were a good omen that have made me optimistic and have improved my overall attitude and outlook for the year to come.

Tagged with: Resolutions

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